what a difference a week makes...

So my 8th iui was 11/1/, and on 11/13 I started some heavy spotting. I thought for sure it was af seeing as it was due on 11/13. Then , I had my beta done on mon 11/16, and it was positive, low, but still, it was positive. My first ever! It was 14, the nurse said the most important thing was that it doubled every 2 days. We celebrated and told family because we wanted to enjoy the moment. We had never had the joy of doing that, so we did.

All along knowing that it was a low number. Nevertheless, we were ecstatic that it finally happened, no matter what we knew that I CAN get pregnant. On Wed 11/18 was Beta #2, it was 23. Not quite double, but almost. The nurse said I was at an increased risk for miscarriage. I remained positive. Friday, 11/20 was beta #3. It was only 29.

It started to sink in that things were not looking good. All along I had light spotting, the following day I had heavy spotting again. We called RE and he said not to give up yet. We did a 4th beta on Mon. It was 8. They told me to stop all meds and I would start my period soon after. And that's exactly what happened. Logically, I knew from day one that 14 was a low number. But, I started to have hope as it slowly rose. I figured it was a late bloomer? Who knew? I think what bothers me the most is the sudden shift in emotions. To be on top of the world one minute, and back down in the dumps, the next. I also feel guilty, like my stupid body couldn't do its job and keep the little bean attached and healthy. I feel very numb.